Monday, 3 August 2009

Ashes Rumours

Sometimes I love twitter. When I have not been next to the TV or radio, I have been able to follow the ashes by watching the feed of my friends' twitter updates (I am @marcwestius), and not only do you get frequent updates, you get all sorts of colour in the form of personal opinion. Of the Ashes cricketers, Graham Swann, Jimmy Anderson and Phil Hughes are on twitter, with Hughes notably informing us of his sacking before the Edgbaston team was announced. By the way, does anyone else think that it is completely NOT in the spirit of twitter for Hughes to send his messages to his agent, who then sends them to "the IT guy" in India to update the twitter stream? Hardly fast-paced microblogging!

Anyway, one of the cool things that twitter does is aggregate opinion on various topics. By using a hashtag, status updates can be pooled by subject. One the best topics recently is #ashesrumours, started by @FollowTheAshes. There are some common themes, here are some of the best so far:

  • on the same flight that david boon drank 52 cans of beer, geoff lawson drank 52 west coast coolers
  • Shane Warne broke Boons 52 beer record at his daughters ballet recital.
  • Sally left Brand Power as it has been taken over by a former English skipper and renamed Brand Gower.
  • Justin Langer is in fact the first Terminator prototype, he went missing from a factory in Singapore in 1994
  • as punishment for his poor bowling performance, @philtufnell was once made to run 10 laps of Mike Gatting
  • Several Australian batsmen have been forced to sit out training after contracting Swann Flu
  • @swannyg66 wanted to be the next Warney.....but he lost his mobile phone
  • in honour of his father, bruce lee, brett lee once starred in a film called 'enter the batsman'
  • Brett lee is the love child of a stripper name crystal and bing lee
  • andrew strauss is a cyborg....but a really annoying one
  • Andrew Strauss can carry 12 cricket balls clenched between his buttocks
  • when don bradman met king george in 1934 he only referred to him as the 'g-dog'
  • Ricky Ponting will change his nationality to a New Zealander if he becomes the 1st Aussie capt. to lose the Ashes twice in Eng
  • Ricky Ponting and George W Bush swapped jobs for a period of 7 weeks in 2006 without anyone noticing
  • Graeme Manou doesn't even know who he is
  • Shane Watson & Sth African rugby player Percy Montgomery to play Prince Charming in Shrek 4. Darren Lehmann to play Shrek
  • Shane Watson once broke his neck shaking his hair
  • Shane Watson once cut his arm off whilst filing his nails
  • shane watson once broke his leg padding up to bat.
  • What, a buttock strain now? Shane Watson confident that his injuries are behind him
  • Stuart Broad is still dressed by his mum before every match. She also does his hair.
  • Nathan Hauritz likes to play with his new transformers figures for at least 30 minutes before taking the field
  • graham Onions only realised he had an amusing surname when Monty Panesar started making bhaji jokes.
  • eddie mcguire is also the president of paul collingwood the cricketer
  • Andrew Flintoff practices his bowling style by throwing rocks at puppies.
  • Umpires Billy Doctrove and Rudi Koertzen often enjoy a spliff or two during breaks
  • despite being the great great grandson of alexander graham bell, ian bell has never used a telephone
  • Ian Bell is so virile that he made 7 women pregnant, just by smiling at them
  • shane warne's smoking makes up 50% of aus's greenhouse emissions.
  • Sir Geofrey Boycott killed 17 Nazi Stormtroopers with a stick of his Grandmother's rhubarb
  • Boycott to take all 11 batting slots at Edgbaston - as the only man who can do it properly.
  • Boycs once killed a man with his bare hands for batting 'like a woman'
  • Rumour has it that Mitchell Johnson can bowl
  • Ravi Bopara can, in fact, bat.
  • If he wanted to, Mitchell Johnson could probably hit a barn door at 10 paces
  • Marcus North is taping a series of commercials in which he sells GPS devices to Mitchell Johnson.
  • 3 women died of excitement at Lords, when Jimmy Anderson smiled at them
  • At Lords, the Queen slipped her phone number to @JimmyAnderson9
  • Daniel Radcliffe to be announced as 12th man, with a special brief to fill in for J Anderson if required.
  • @jimmyanderson9 was once mistaken for derek zoolander. Actually, it may have been twice.
  • The Headingley Test of 1981 was re-enacted on location in the Arizona desert when tapes of the original were lost.
  • when simon katich wears a woollen jumper, the static from his chest hair powers his car.
  • Richie Benaud invented the Flipper in honour of his favourite TV show.
  • The pitch at Edgbaston is so wet that one of the rollers sank.
  • Ian Thorpe will be 12th man for Australia at Edgbaston.
  • Swimming googles have been supplied to all the players and officials for start of play at Edgbaston
  • Phil Hughes had a small role as a House Elf in the new Harry Potter film
  • It wasn't only Phil Hughes in the Potter film - Andrew McDonald played one of the Weasley brothers
  • stuart broad was also in harry potter as malfoy's double. But he just couldn't look evil.
Looking forward to more!



bettiwettiwoo said...

Ricky Ponting will change his nationality to a New Zealander ...

Don't be ridiculous. Of course he won't. NZ isn't far away enough.

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nazia shah said...

ricky ponting is the best player, he done good performance in the world cup 2011
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